There's a new theory about the Moon's origins-but could scientists be simply making it up?

As news stories go, this item has taken slightly longer to reach the front pages than most, but the scientific journal Nature has just published an exclusive that 4bn years ago the Earth was involved in an enormous interplanetary collision.
The revelation that a proto-planet the size of Mars crashed into the Earth, tilting the Earth's polar axis and accelerating our orbit, has caused great excitement in the scientific world and given insurance companies another excuse to put up their premiums. It turns out that before the collision, Earth had a day that was only five hours long. So you'd stay up for two days and two nights and then sleep straight through for a couple of days-it was like being on holiday in Ibiza. The collision sent billions of tonnes of molten rock into the atmosphere-which, typically, the weather forecasters of the time failed to spot.
Some of the debris from the collision flew up into space and eventually coalesced to form the satellite we know as the Moon, later joined by other satellites sent into orbit by a powerful force known as Rupert Murdoch. It was previously believed that the Moon was created by a white-haired man called God on a Tuesday, but as cosmology has become more advanced, this theory has failed to withstand rigorous scientific scrutiny. The collision theory is not an entirely new one but now there are detailed computations which have apparently proved it.
On page 709 of this week's Nature, the scientists explain how they made their calculations. 'We use a beta spine kernel,' they say. Oh yeah, right, a beta spine kernel. Pull the other one. There are then two full pages of mathematical calculations and equations involving lots of Greek letters and squiggly symbols which they knew the sub editor would take one look at and say: 'Er yup, that all looks fine!'
Clearly what has happened is that the scientists are making this all up. They have obviously spent the last two years sending each other silly emails and playing minesweeper and when their deadline suddenly came along, they were forced to throw together a scientific theory and some calculations so they didn't get into trouble.

'Okay, quick, quick; when shall we say this happened?'
'I dunno-500 million years ago?'
'No no-bigger numbers are more impressive. Say four and half billion.'
'Okay and say it was really, really hot-that always sounds good.'
'Yeah, and make sure we use the words 'atoms', 'gravity', 'unstable' and, er, 'beta spine kernel'.'
'What's beta spine kernel?'
'Three random words from the dictionary. Don't worry-no one will question it.'

Making things up about space has been a huge industry ever since Richard Nixon decided that the Moon landings were a complete waste of money and that the same images could be produced far more cheaply in a Hollywood back lot. The account of what really happened back in 1969 is only just coming out, but it was not much different to any other film set.

'Okay Neil darling, you step off your ladder and say your line about the giant leap for mankind . . . and action!'
'But what's my motivation for going down the ladder? What's the back-story here?'
'Cut! Oh no, not this again. Neil, love, you're playing an astronaut. You're landing on the Moon. It's a big day for your character.'
'Maybe I should drive around the Moon in a big car?'
'No, darling-that's in a sequel: Apollo 15.'
'Or lose radio contact and nearly die.'
'Apollo 13.'
And the guys from NASA were sulking in the wings saying 'It can't be that difficult to do this for real. After all, we've put a man on the Moon.'
'No we haven't.'
'Well, no, but it's not rocket science.'
'Yes it is.'

Before science accounted for the creation of the Earth and the Moon, it was explained in the first chapter of the Bible. It didn't sound very believable but their get-out clause was that you had to have faith. Now religion has been replaced with science and we just have to take someone else's word for it instead. The comforting thing is that at least we no longer live in fear of flaming thunderbolts coming out of the sky if we question the word of the Almighty. Well, not until they've got the Star Wars project up and running anyway.

Source: GUARDIAN UK 18/08/2001